The play's the thing

I have been experiencing some changes around how I relate to technology and my work, of late. My history with technology is that I've been working around it since the mid/late 1980's and I've been building it for abou the past 10 years. When it comes to technology, I tend to get caught up in how to build it, how to design it, how to deploy it. But now that there are so many people out there who are doing exactly that (and frankly doing it better than I could, in important and obvious ways), there's actually less of a need for me to build my own technology.

Thinking back, I realize that I got into building tech because I couldn't find the tools or the websites or the applications that I wanted, so I built my own. And I learned a lot. But now that real honset-to-god tools like Blogger and Audacity exist, there's really no reason I should have to build my own from scratch, anymore.

And I find my relationship to technology changing a great deal, with regard to my work. Once, I had to build my own tools, my own websites, etc. But now there are plenty of industrial strength tools and resources out there and I can use them freely (many of them for free) to go back to my writing. And a lot of the new tools are much more robust than what I'd be likely to come up with.

It's a heady, exciting thing, to think that I'm able to get my work out there, in ways I could only dream of -- or in ways that never occurred to me to dream of. And now, I need to shift my focus away from the technology-centric to the creative-centric... see how it all fits together... use it in a complimentary fashion... make strides in my own work, rather than building things. Get it going on, like never before...

An interesting thing happened, while I was in Provincetown...

My partner and I went out to Provincetown for four days, a couple of weeks ago. We needed to get away, and January is a quiet, quiet time there. We went over MLK weekend, which was pretty great... saw a great exhibit on MLK at the Schoolhouse Gallery, ate at Napi's a lot, did precious little shopping, and spent a whole lot of time just lazing around the condo we rented -- a 3rd story penthouse with a great view of the harbor and bay.

I'd fully intended to get a lot of work done, while we were there... catch up on my blogging, catch up on my Fuel edits, catch up on a lot of things that I've been feeling like I'm falling behind on. I literally took three large bags full of work I really, really, really wanted to work on.

But once we got there, I just couldn't bring myself to get in the "productivity" groove. Just couldn't do it. The weather was pretty intense -- 75 mph wind gusts, rain, snow, drama -- and the fire was warm. Very primal, very elemental. I just couldn't be bothered with the same-old-same-old.

So, I worked on some new ideas I've had brewing, and I made good progress. Very good progress. Worked like the dickens, but not on projects I've already got going on. Not on Fuel, not on podcasting. Not on any of that. I just wanted to be in that original flow... not hash out all the previously existing "stuff" I've got going on. 50 miles out to sea, I seriously and genuinely wanted to tap that newness, that originality, that spirit of the place that's so far ahead of the rest of the country, it's palpable.

When we got back, the spirit stayed on, and I took another week or so off, to get things done. Actually, I've taken two weeks off.

And I haven't gotten much done, at all, aside from new and interesting things that genuinely excite me.

Not that getting Fuel out there doesn't excite me, but what moves me most, is the original creation of something that's never been experienced by me before. It's the fresh words on paper, the new thoughts coming out, the brand spankin' new thoughts that take form on paper before me. That's what gets me going and keeps my juices flowing. It's what propels me and keeps me engaged in life around me.

So, I've allowed myself to create freely for the past several weeks, stepping away from Fuel for longer than I expected. Of course, now I feel like I'm*behind* and I'm feeling guilty, but that can be a very productive and focusing feeling. And I've got edits done for chapters 3 and 4. They're now ready to be read for the book tour.

I do need to do better about this... I do need to make more of an effort. But honestly, I made a ferocious effort at the beginning of January, and I just needed to recharge my "fresh" batteries and do something completely new and different. Something rebellious. Something that's just plain fun and may never amount to anything, but gives me tremendous comfort.

I'll get back to work... eventually.